Quote:
Originally Posted by Calgary14
Any tips on surviving that stage of life? That's pretty much where I'm at right now (newly divorced)
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I gave myself some rules around my divorce, I dated but only when I didnt have my kid, she never met any of the women I dated, we have since talked about how much she appreciated the stability and time that gave us, I honestly believe you can be a good boyfriend or a good dad but you cant be both so I chose dad, obviously never ever put my ex down or really commented on anything she did to my kid nor did I ever really try and talk to my ex about her parenting as there was/is no point, your in a fight about a marriage with her so she (and you probably) have zero ability to hear any kind of suggestions or criticism about anything, I tried (and Lord it was hard) to have a zen like acceptance that I had married her so I was stuck with what ever bat#### crazy thing my ex did, in essence it was my fault for picking her.
I tried to see my kid every other day, if only for lunch or a walk or something, I'd pick her up from elementary school and go for a burger or the like
When I didnt have her I started doing some things I loved before the marriage and kids, went to see bands/live music again at seedy little bars, that was what I did before the marriage, so what if I was the oldest guy in the room I was there to watch the band not pick up girls, I started playing pick up soccer, just 5 a side with a bunch of guys my age not even rec league and I started to ride my bike again, still do 20 years on.