Oilers will announce the signing of another all offence/no defence forward, this time from somewhere in Europe.
Someone on Twitter will spend all of 38 seconds on Google to find out that he's currently wanted for murdering his entire family with an axe. Oilers will respond with, "No comment, other than to say it takes commitment and follow-through to win a Stanley Cup - which is something we know a great deal about." Oilers media will post a chart they already had done up and ready to go, showing how axe-murdering has no impact on a player's ability to play hockey (attempting to reassure fans who might think otherwise) - along with a blurb about how he's been a model citizen since arriving in Edmonton earlier that day.
The NHL will announce that their investigation into the player proved inconlusive, and therefore the player will be allowed to play this season.
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