Also let's not pretend like people with deeply rooted issues don't attract other people with similar issues.
Usually well reasoned, well adjusted, secure people don't run off with and commit to compulsive liars with potential personality disorders, unless they're still very young and naive or got married within weeks or months of meeting.
I think a fair portion of he said/she said situation where the each party is alleging that they did no wrong while their partner committed all wrongs, the reality is probably in the mucky middle, but because of social desirability each side has convinced themselves of a rose-colored portrayal of the situation where details of their part in the situation are omitted or justified away somehow.
Abusive spouses do absolutely happen, but you always have to tread carefully when testimonies and recall can be so unreliable if all you have are those of the parties directly involved. Third party accounts and physical evidence are the best indicators of the factual truth that you're going to get.
|