[VilleN]

IMO I think people are getting a little carried away with calling out 'victim blamers'. I will tell my daughter that there are predators out there, bad men out there who will lie to her, who will try and convince her to do things she doesn't want to do. Guys who will take advantage of her when she's vulnerable. I will try my best to tell her how to avoid these situations, which will include telling her that getting blackout drunk at a bar will put her at increased risk (not saying that is what happened in the case). I don't think anyone would disagree with me telling these things to my daughter. I don't think it is blaming the victim to point out safer behaviour. Should women have the freedom to go to a bar, let their hair down, and drink as much as they want? Absolutely 100%. Can that be a dangerous thing for them to do? Unfortunately, yes it can. Is it their fault if they do this and something awful happens? Definitely not. I will also tell my son to respect women, to understand a woman's experience. Often as men it is easy to not understand what it would feel like to be fearful in a sexual encounter, to 'appear' to be consenting because you're afraid of what happens if you don't. It's a good practice to spend some time as a man imagining what that would be like. To go on a date with someone you barely know, who has the physical power to hurt or kill you - I can only imagine what that is like.

Another thing that I think continually gets glossed over in all of these situations is the abuse of alcohol. As much as we need to educate about consent, we need to educate about alcohol. I guarantee this doesn't happen at a social gathering where all parties are sober. There are crazy statistics about alcohol and sexual assault. Alcohol is a hard drug, and a lot of awful, avoidable things happen because it gets abused. Alcohol often unchains demons that are lying dormant in people.