Originally Posted by FanIn80
Conroy: "I bought a Ferrari, but I've driven it like 10 times and this thing is a Fiero. It takes forever to get to 60 and only dreams of someday getting all the way up to 100."
Agent: "Oh well, I mean, yeah... but... you just need the right driving conditions..."
C: "But that's not what I paid for..."
A: "...and you need to surround it with other cars that will make it look faster..."
C: "But I'm paying $10.5M a year..."
A: "...and also you can't race it against other $10.5M cars, cause that would just be totally unfair."
C: "...for 8 years..."
A: "I don't even know what the problem is. Look just put it out there on the track with some $3M or $4M cars, and you'll see. Then you'll be like, "man this $10M car is just too good to be racing with $3M cars!"
C: "But it's a $10M car! It's not supposed to be out there with $3M cars! It's supposed to be able to race and be competitive against other $10M cars!"
A: "Oh, I see... you're one of those racers... Right, ok. Well, if you wanna put your $10M car out there against other $10M cars, then that's on you, man. I mean... just like... maybe get a couple other $10M cars it can race with?"
C: "So, lemme get this straight. In order for my $10M car to race like it's a $10M car, I have to get two more $10M cars to race with it?"
A: "No... that's not what I said."
C: "That's exactly what you said."
A: "Well, yeah, but you didn't let me finish. I was also going to say that you'd need to chain those other two $10M cars to your $10M car so they all stay together, otherwise they'll just make it look... well... I mean... have you tried racing it against $3M cars yet?"
C: "I think I want my money back."
A: "Oh. Well, about that. It turns out that $7.5M of that $10M every year is structured as a signing bonus, which is non-refundable, so the most you'll get back is like $3M a year."
C: "Unbelievable. Well that's better than a kick in the nuts... lets do it."
A: "Ok, but because it's still technically a $10.5M per year contract, it'll cost you $2.25M per year just to even be allowed to do the refund."
C: "Son of a..."
A: "So here's your $750K."
C: "... #####."
A: "Should I just e-transfer the $750K at the start of every racing season, or would you like a post-dated cheque for each of the next seven seasons?"
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