[TorqueDog]

These days? It's pretty damned good, I'd say a solid 9.

This year was a lot of ups and downs for the first six months; started counselling, moving out and divorcing my spouse, lost some friends in the process (without them even talking to me). There were some tough times, to be sure.

For the first time in five years, I'm feeling like myself again and I'm at ease. I've learned (or perhaps remembered) that I really like myself. Who I was before my marriage and who I am now are the same person, and that person is pretty damned awesome. They're friendly and kind, happy and personable, generous, nonjudgmental, reasonable and open-minded, and dependable. I did not like what life became over the last several years (and what I became by extension) and it made me miserable. Life is really great now and it's poised to get even better.

I credit a few things for the improvement.
- Getting out of a bad relationship situation. Life's too short to be unhappy, so choose to be happy. I did, and though it was a painful, difficult, and emotional journey, the destination offers the sunniest of days and bluest of skies.

- Finding a good counsellor. This can be easier said than done but I managed to hit it right on the button the first time and found a great fit with who I see. Game-changing.

- Learning how to communicate and 'argue' a bit better. Some of this was just me getting a handle on what things trip me up, and some of it was some insight I found from -- of all places -- a lawyer on Instagram. Never thought I'd say that.

- Filtering what I'm exposing myself to in terms of current events, news cycle, other 'drama', etc. We all have a certain amount of bandwidth for stuff in a day, and I was usually overrunning it substantially by paying way too much attention to stuff that didn't merit my attention. If I have no influence or control over something, then knowing what it is will suffice, I don't need regular updates, and I don't need to jump into the discussion about it. To quote timun from the "How much damage did Covid do?" thread, "the last three years has consisted of a rapid-fire succession of causes célèbres". I'm out of f-cks to give for topics where the most I can contribute is "down with this sort of thing". If I can't vote for or significantly influence change, it doesn't earn nor deserve my bandwidth.

This year, I'm visiting my family over Christmas for the first time since 2016. That sounds completely mental to say aloud, but it's true. They're getting up there and I've committed to spending more time with them for whatever time they've got left, at least three times a year if I can help it.

I've reconnected with a bunch of friends I was worried were lost, and things are as good as they have ever been, and I've made plenty of new ones too. There's a lot of reasons to be pretty damned happy about life these days.

So yeah. 9/10, definitely pleased with where things are at these days.