[GranteedEV]

This morning, I think I was at about a 2 or 3. Work has given me anxiety, whether it's the deliverables that can't plausibly be delivered or the client I'm currently dealing with being extremely high-maintainence, or on a more macro level the fact that my company's sales team hasn't been pulling their weight lately and I don't know if my workplace will even exist a year from now.

It was 9 am, and I did something I just about never do. I took a 10mg thc edible. I went to my morning meetings remotely. And then the edible kicked in.

I sent the rest of my day just processing everything.

Feeling the stress, not just being numb to it.

Feeling the tedium of a task I hate.

Looking in the mirror. I ####ing have bags under my eyes, I've never seen myself with bags under them.

Taking a hot shower. Remembering how enjoyable that can be when you're not going through the emotions.

Texting some friends I haven't talked to in a while and just catching up.

Just sleeping off the rest of the day.

I feel like I'm back up to like a 5 or 6.

Do I still have problems? Sure I do.

I didn't get much work done today, but the deadlines won't wait for me. I probably have to work tomorrow.

I've been single for the last three and a half years, and I hate it. I hate being so jaded on romantic relationships that dating seems pointless because the other person will just let me down at some point.

I don't make the money I feel I deserve to, and I don't save the money I do make very well.

But I feel much better now, after a lazy day of doing sweet #### all than I did prepared to work all day to be ready for monday.

Take a day off your mind-numbing routine, whatever that is, if you're under a 5. Period. I'm not saying to self-medicate, but take an edible if you're anything like me and you are the kind of person who does not process their emotions and stressors. Appreciate the people around you, you're all in it together.