[Displaced Flames fan]

3.

Hate my job, but very grateful for it at the same time. I could never make what I make and get the benefits I do anywhere else. My wife is in kidney failure so we have a crazy amount of health care costs that my insurance wipes away. I feel guilty for hating my job because of this.

I have a severe case of impostor syndrome. Just waiting for the day everyone finds out I am a fraud, which of course never comes. It's bizarre to know thoughts you have are complete bull#### and feel powerless to stop them.

My parents are in their mid 70s and I dread losing them. I count time in terms of what is.left rather than what is. Unhealthy as hell. When I go visit either of them I am constantly thinking about how soon it's going to be over. It's nuts.

We just became grandparents in October. That is awesome and helps me cope a lot.

I eat my feelings. I am over 400 pounds but relatively healthy. That won't last if I don't make some.changes
Slowly doing some of that but battling the hopelessness of needing to cut my weight in half is exhausting.

All that said...I love life and am grateful for every day I have.