Quote:
Originally Posted by Dion
It's important to talk to someone when you're troubled. Get it off your chest and let them help when and where they can. If it's bad the reach out to a professional and let them help.
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Most of us can't afford a professional and everybody else doesn't give a ####. Sure, they may act like they do but people have their own problems, they don't give a rats ass about yours. Once you are down and you hit bottom everything is designed to keep you there and barring a fn miracle like a big inheritance you were not suspecting or winning a lottery you are F,ed. Everytime you try to get to a level where you can survive something comes along and drops you back in the #### hole.
The last one was bed bugs, I spent all my little bit of money I cut corners to put away in case of emergency because my place got infested with these little bastards and after spending $1500 which to me is a goddamn fortune the bastards were gone for like a month, now they are back. The company that did it won't come back and re-treat so now I have the damn bugs still and I am out my money. That is life, it won't let you get up once it gets you down. It is always something!
Like how I got in this position in the first place, I got hit by a drunk driver not once, but twice. Twice! What are the fn odds?? Both almost cost me my life, half my body is pins and screws now, most of my intestines were removed, I am in constant pain, and I survive off $1100.00 a month. The cop angle I talked about, I had just finished my policing course with honours and had a job lined up when the first accident happened. I didn't feel like letting anyone know in here that I had in fact become a worthless burden on society. That first accident shattered my right hip and upper arm and they stick it back together with pins and screws. Lost all function in my right arm for a year as the radial nerve was badly damaged. Tried to rehab enough I could still work and 2 years later I got hit again in the back passenger of friends car. Girl was drunk at a party and left, stole a car, and hit the car I was in. Car was an older car, a Topaz and had lap belts in the back. Lap belt rebroke my hip and ruptured a bunch of my intestinal tract. Now constipation is a medical emergency for me as most of my bowels were removed yet I am constantly on pain meds that constipate so I have to also take a bunch laxitives which leads to chronic diahrea, every day. Constant stomach cramps, constant arthritis in my hip, sitting on the toilet 6 times a day, what a great life! I had to give up my apartment and move in to my parents house and I am 48. Can't afford F all on $1100 a month, that won't even cover rent here. So now you all know how absolute #### my life is. It's garbage.
I hang out in my room with my dog and my frogs and watch hockey and play video games and try to not think about the fact my life is essentially over and I will never be able to enjoy things again because I can't afford to nor do I have the ambition anyhow. I will never get out to the Dome to see a game there, never going to vacation with my boys, have to make excuses to my 12 year old why when he comes to dad's place for Christmas there is F all under the tree. This is my existence and it truly sucks! So ya, just putting in time.