Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community - View Single Post - Rate your current mental health level out of 10

DoubleF · 11-17-2023, 03:23 PM

I don't know if it's just me, but I've been having issues answering this question in a way that makes sense to me. I've started typing a response about 4-5 times and each time I take a momentary step back and it just doesn't sound right or sound like me/the circumstances I'm facing or makes it sound like I have some major undiagnosed mental health issues, but I've spoken with a therapist and I really don't think that's the case, so I delete the post.

I'd say my current baseline is about an 7-8 for mood and I'm working towards more consistency in a 9+ longer term. I've set 3, 5 and 8 year goals and forecasted expectations and certain things do look to be on track to hit the necessary milestones to aim towards a 9+ in mood. Things like recently restructuring my finances to be more manageable cash flow wise in 3 years and be completely debt free by year 8 (ie: Mortgage, auto, LOC etc.) where unlocking that cash flow and unloading that financial burden would be huge. Other things like in year 3, both kids are in grade 1 and higher and the schedule is more familiar and finally finishing off a lot of one time administration transitional things and being able to focus on a turn key business... the logic is there for excitement in expectations of a steady decrease in the categories that current cause me a ton of stress. Also, less time spent on certain things that should disappear in the coming months to the next 3 years means I can also spend more time doing more hobbies, hosting parties etc. and that sense of accomplishment and interaction will also contribute towards more consistently positive vibes.

But... at the start of this year, I took a leap career wise. There's so much administration to deal with like registration, client communication, technology/procedural upgrades, financing, negotiation etc. that are time consuming and bleh. Plans are in motion for the next level of expansion. I'm currently in week 7 or 8 of some insanity deadlines with another 2.5 to 3 weeks to go on another large batch. This death march basically is a major stressor. Even prior to this, I've felt burnt out. I average 4-6 hours of sleep a day which is contributing to the burnout and exhaustion. Plus, the kids are getting to school age and there's been a major transition in terms of their schedule. The commute is twice as long and will stay at approximately that level for the next 2 or 3 years until we can get the kids to relatively the same location and on similar schedules (WTF is the insane variations on schedules for preschool and kindergarten?). Health issues have popped up with myself/family/parents/in-laws in a #### show of coincidence, but they're dumb temporary things like sprains, wrist and knee surgeries that should get better over time and not be long term concerns. All of this contributes to me constantly yo-yoing up and down from the 8 ish range into the 3-4 range on a daily basis when I just run out of energy and patience. The level 3-4 mood is temporary because the causes are temporary and coincidentally they're happening at the same time which is stretching me thin. So I'm optimistic that things will get better, hang in there.

That's why it feels weird. To say I'm flying up and down from 3-4 to 7-8 on a daily basis if not every other day sounds like another issue that others have. I didn't want to post it that way and make it sound like I'm making light of others' situation, so I kept starting over. It's the burnout and exhausting temporary conditions making me experience daily 3-4, but personality wise I am the type to have 7-8 levels on a daily basis too. Certainly some of my behaviours are considered objectively erratic and excessive to some, but from my POV, it's my normal based on my ADHD + OCPD circumstances.

24 months ago, I was swinging between a 1-2 to 7-8. My wife and I were working longer hours, thinking we couldn't let anything drop, still figuring out the major changes needed for parenthood, pandemic etc. Many have been addressed now and continue to be addressed. It was bad. Like... occasional intrusive suicidal thoughts bad. "Driving into oncoming traffic would offer more restful peace than just sleep would offer" types of thoughts. I'm glad I'm no longer in that place and quite a few major changes have been made in the last 18 months to safeguard against sliding back into that zone.

We've both changed our career approach and we're learning how to deal with our new normal in a healthier and sustainable way. One of the biggest things we're doing next is going on a huge purge in our home. Like 30-40% of all our possessions in our home type of thing because that has been a significant trigger for mental anguish and frustration (useless crap/broken trash, why did we spend money on this OMG money is tight, it's messy and messy sucks, I can't find what I truly want in this ####, cleaning is tiring, OMG so messy and embarrassing when guests come over etc.). Less is more.

There's ups and downs and I'm excited to be on a steady upwards path that is also intentional in putting in methods to avoid sliding back down even if we take momentary pauses (ie: Like building stairs with platforms so more effort is required to go back down vs just trying to gun it up an incline and gravity taking over when we stop moving).

11-17-2023, 03:23 PM	#118
DoubleF Franchise Player Join Date: Apr 2014 Exp:	I don't know if it's just me, but I've been having issues answering this question in a way that makes sense to me. I've started typing a response about 4-5 times and each time I take a momentary step back and it just doesn't sound right or sound like me/the circumstances I'm facing or makes it sound like I have some major undiagnosed mental health issues, but I've spoken with a therapist and I really don't think that's the case, so I delete the post. I'd say my current baseline is about an 7-8 for mood and I'm working towards more consistency in a 9+ longer term. I've set 3, 5 and 8 year goals and forecasted expectations and certain things do look to be on track to hit the necessary milestones to aim towards a 9+ in mood. Things like recently restructuring my finances to be more manageable cash flow wise in 3 years and be completely debt free by year 8 (ie: Mortgage, auto, LOC etc.) where unlocking that cash flow and unloading that financial burden would be huge. Other things like in year 3, both kids are in grade 1 and higher and the schedule is more familiar and finally finishing off a lot of one time administration transitional things and being able to focus on a turn key business... the logic is there for excitement in expectations of a steady decrease in the categories that current cause me a ton of stress. Also, less time spent on certain things that should disappear in the coming months to the next 3 years means I can also spend more time doing more hobbies, hosting parties etc. and that sense of accomplishment and interaction will also contribute towards more consistently positive vibes. But... at the start of this year, I took a leap career wise. There's so much administration to deal with like registration, client communication, technology/procedural upgrades, financing, negotiation etc. that are time consuming and bleh. Plans are in motion for the next level of expansion. I'm currently in week 7 or 8 of some insanity deadlines with another 2.5 to 3 weeks to go on another large batch. This death march basically is a major stressor. Even prior to this, I've felt burnt out. I average 4-6 hours of sleep a day which is contributing to the burnout and exhaustion. Plus, the kids are getting to school age and there's been a major transition in terms of their schedule. The commute is twice as long and will stay at approximately that level for the next 2 or 3 years until we can get the kids to relatively the same location and on similar schedules (WTF is the insane variations on schedules for preschool and kindergarten?). Health issues have popped up with myself/family/parents/in-laws in a #### show of coincidence, but they're dumb temporary things like sprains, wrist and knee surgeries that should get better over time and not be long term concerns. All of this contributes to me constantly yo-yoing up and down from the 8 ish range into the 3-4 range on a daily basis when I just run out of energy and patience. The level 3-4 mood is temporary because the causes are temporary and coincidentally they're happening at the same time which is stretching me thin. So I'm optimistic that things will get better, hang in there. That's why it feels weird. To say I'm flying up and down from 3-4 to 7-8 on a daily basis if not every other day sounds like another issue that others have. I didn't want to post it that way and make it sound like I'm making light of others' situation, so I kept starting over. It's the burnout and exhausting temporary conditions making me experience daily 3-4, but personality wise I am the type to have 7-8 levels on a daily basis too. Certainly some of my behaviours are considered objectively erratic and excessive to some, but from my POV, it's my normal based on my ADHD + OCPD circumstances. 24 months ago, I was swinging between a 1-2 to 7-8. My wife and I were working longer hours, thinking we couldn't let anything drop, still figuring out the major changes needed for parenthood, pandemic etc. Many have been addressed now and continue to be addressed. It was bad. Like... occasional intrusive suicidal thoughts bad. "Driving into oncoming traffic would offer more restful peace than just sleep would offer" types of thoughts. I'm glad I'm no longer in that place and quite a few major changes have been made in the last 18 months to safeguard against sliding back into that zone. We've both changed our career approach and we're learning how to deal with our new normal in a healthier and sustainable way. One of the biggest things we're doing next is going on a huge purge in our home. Like 30-40% of all our possessions in our home type of thing because that has been a significant trigger for mental anguish and frustration (useless crap/broken trash, why did we spend money on this OMG money is tight, it's messy and messy sucks, I can't find what I truly want in this ####, cleaning is tiring, OMG so messy and embarrassing when guests come over etc.). Less is more. There's ups and downs and I'm excited to be on a steady upwards path that is also intentional in putting in methods to avoid sliding back down even if we take momentary pauses (ie: Like building stairs with platforms so more effort is required to go back down vs just trying to gun it up an incline and gravity taking over when we stop moving).