[Doctorfever]

Originally Posted by Jiri Hrdina

First, I think it’s great that people are being vulnerable and open talking about this. I’ve had several friends in the last couple years end their lives, and it’s hard not to wonder if it could have been prevented if they felt more comfortable asking for help.

For me I’d say I’m a 7.
The last few years have had some ups and downs, with the biggest down being my marriage ending. I now see that’s the right thing, but it’s been hard on my daughter and that breaks my heart. I have a good relationship with my ex, but you grieve the life you thought you were going to have, and see constant reminders of that. The world is set up for families and couples that fit the stand. One thing that has created severe stress for me is a constant fight with Revenue Canada who are refusing to allow me to deduct my spousal support payments. So that has created a different net income outcome for me than what was negotiated. No one tells you how hard this is, and it often feels like no one has my back. On the emotional side, it’s hard not to feel bad about yourself when the person that chose you to be their partner, un-chooses you. That cuts deep. I miss having a partner and someone to share experiences with and worry about not being able to find that again.

My job is stressful. But I love the people I work with, who I have formed incredible deep relationships with. And I believe in what I do. I think it matters. I used to play sports a lot to relieve stress which was great, as it was one of the only times where I would be completely in the moment, just thinking about the game. I suffered a catastrophic knee injury that meant I had to give up all the sports I loved. And I’ve not replaced that.

I have a close group of friends who I can depend on and even though we don’t see each other a ton, when we do, we just pick back up. My closets friends go back 30 years.

Several years ago I suffered from severe insomnia that took my down to a 2. It destroyed me. But I got help and now know how to manage it. But sleep is so important.

The most important source of joy for me is my daughter. So when I feel down I just look to her and remind myself how lucky I am. And I don’t regret any decisions I made because all those millions of small and big decisions led to her being in my life.

So overall I’ve had some tough thing, but I am grateful for what I have and optimistic for the future.

Kids are such a gift. They are the only important thing we will leave behind when we aren’t around anymore.