about 7 to 8, getting old and being in pain a lot of the time brings me down some and my vocation has always left me with a sort of minor ptsd/depression but I'm used to it and it's 'external' I have a lot of old foster kids out there, most are doing ok, some great but some are struggling and i feel that all the time, that said my life is so blessed, I'm comfortable financially, so many foster parents quit during Covid that they are just throwing money at me to get me to stay working and I love what I do, I'm proud of my boys out there, proud of my daughter, I lost a good friend to cancer a couple of years back and it got all my circle to thinking about our lives one drunken night and I realised I wouldn't do a thing different and have no regrets, if I die tomorrow I'm cool with my life and the little bit of myself I will leave behind in my kids and foster kids
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