[J pold]

Originally Posted by PYroMaNiaC

I'll try. You agreed with me that people (both sexes but, in particular, women) should look at the possibilty of love right in their own back yard. That best friends can be more.

You expressed (that's what I interpreted, anyway) frustration and/or confusion that it doesn't happen. That once a man was a woman's friend, she no longer looked at him with the possibilty of romance. This is the ladder theory, no?

I wondered why men would not search out different girls to be friends with - girls that showed the wisdom to understand that good relationships are built on a foundation of friendship.

Men do not do this. They are single minded in their pursuit of a specific girl, even if she shows little interest in moving to another level of the relationship. It is illogical. The girl is not interested in another level, she doesn't show the desirable trait of wisdom, and yet, the man is upset that she doesn't look at him romantically.

Why does he waste his time being bitter about being stuck on the friend ladder? Why doesn't he make new girl friends with girls that show more wisdom?

It would be the logical step to take and yet, men seem content to whine about the ladder.

IE: Tom is attracted to Susan. Susan likes Tom as a friend. Tom settles for being a friend only with the thought that with time and patience, she will look at him differently. Susan never does. Tom is upset because he's invested a lot of time with no payback (sex). He's upset about his ladder status.

Why does Tom not see that Susan does not possess the wisdom to see the potential for a relationship? Why does he pursue it anyway? Why does he not make friends with Ashley, who seems a little more aware of him? Or at least give Ashley the opportunity to show wisdom? Or Karen? Or Carmen? Or Amanda? Why does he invest energies in trying to get Susan to look at him differently when she clearly doesn't show enough wisdom to do so on her own?

Why?

Good post I wish I would have read it about 3 years ago, but from what I have learned is that when a women becomes to comfortable with a man she rarely ever feels attraction from him again….and a lot of guys do the wrong thing by thinking that if I am friends with her one day she will notice me, one day she will see that I will treat her better than the Jerk she is with now…and unfortunately it never happens

You can’t blame the women either I mean she looks at you as a friend and one day you drop a bomb that really you have been in love with her for the last 3 years I mean how is she supposed to react to that?