[Ayrahb]

3. Girls love to flirt and are damn good at it. We'll stop, though, if you give us any indication that you're the one.

Women flirt to get goods and/or services. They do not stop if it keeps working. Only relatively attractive girls are good at flirting--same goes for guys.

4. Before girls call a guy, they've conferred with all their friends, lit candles and said a tiny prayer to make sure they don't say anything dumb or anything lovey-dovey BEFORE THE GUY DOES.

And being insecure is good because....?

6. Girls will do anything just to get you to notice them, including the strut, the bend-n-snap and the lip-bite.

So will the little kids by screaming their heads off and guys by driving expensive sports cars. What's your point?

8. Even if you're not dating and you're only talking, don't let a girl know that there are other women in your life... including your mom.

Come on! And give up our last line of defence against crazy stalker chicks?

14. Girls know how important a man's ego is to him, so we cater to it.

There better be a male ego catering school somewhere, I know quite a few women who could use a refresher course.

15. Girls expect to be wined and dined without being called gold-diggers. We're not gold-diggers. We'll chip in once you prove you're not a cheap .

Better than being called that other name that descibes someone who demands compensation for companionship. And chipping in and then calling a guy cheap for letting you do it is not cool.

16. A girl can say she forgives a guy for almost anything if he seems like he means his apology, but will never mean her forgiveness.

Fixed.

18. Don't test a girl: she'll withhold sex for any reason or to any end.

Fixed, again.

21. If you want to know if a girl likes you, just ask.

Wait a minute, weren't we supposed to watch for lip-biting, bend and snaps and junk?

22. We may seem cool about the relationship, but we are obsessing about you to our friends about every possible detail, from penis size to why you haven't said "I love you" yet... Or why you've said it too early.

Again, not something I would want to advertise to guys: "The details of your private life (and parts) can and will be discussed with strangers. If you do not like this policy, tough luck." I am so dying to marry a chick like that.

23. Girls love to brag about their guys... so give us a reason.

We would, but we were raised to believe that bragging is wrong.

24. We're going to tell people you're hot, regardless of what you look like. That's how we see the guys we love.

See 23, lying is not OK, either.

26. A girl will never really ask a guy's advice, unless it's about cars, a class or other girls, in which case, you should never answer.

And we will keep giving advice because we don't like rhetorical questions.

27. Every girl could write a sad story about lost love, or heartbreak.

As long as she doesn't make a guy read it.

28. Girls don't understand why they're the ones seen as confusing, when it's clearly men that are lost in life.

Men must seem lost because they don't have a whole friggin' coven deciding their fate like the women do.

30. If a girl does something dumb in front of the guy, she's going to cry about it... a lot. She can only be appeased when the guy acts like he didn't notice.

We don't have to act, we really didn't notice!

34. When a girl looks calmed down, minimal makeup, genuinely happy... you (or another guy she is seeing) are doing something right.

Fixed once more.

35. If a girl tells her friend she wants to marry a guy, it doesn't mean anything more than what it meant with the last guy. If she tells her boyfriend, it's the truth.

And this is why women hate each other--they will rub their relationships in each other's faces.

36. A girl will never say "leave me alone" to a guy, since she thinks that is the most hurtful thing you can say to someone you're with...

No, no, no: she won't say "leave me alone" to a guy when she truly wants to be alone, but she will definitely say that and more when she wants to hurt him.

37. If we think you're the one, that IS a final decision, and can only be undone if you make it so. (Ie: cheating, ending the relationship, etc)

Or until the chick gets bored, whichever comes first.

38. Girls can be as silly as guys. Therefore, when we say "can we talk?", we expect you to listen, 'cause this isn't just another conversation... We want to be serious when we say "can we talk?"

Our serious reply will be: "What did I do wrong now?" Because that's exactly where your opening leads. If you wanted to talk about anything else, you would have already told us have the story.

39. We know your friends are cool, but your friends that are girls will instantly hate US, even if they don't like you like that. This is because all girls hate other girls in a guy's life.

That's OK, it gets better after high school and college. You see, most mature men don't hang around in packs that include female friends who run their social lives.

40. When a girl looks at you for longer than a minute, she's thinking about how much she likes you.

And if a guy doesn't react after 10 seconds, he is either not interested or he is too shy. Either way, you should start scoping out another target.

41. When a girl looks at you for longer than 5 minutes, she's wondering if your children will have your eyes or your nose.

That seems kinda pathetic. Anyway, see my answer in 40.

42. Girls like manliness, not misogynism. Also, girls like compassionate men, not men with vaginas.

Fair enough, but for someone knowing what she likes, a woman gets those confused an awful lot.

43. Girls have physical troubles you can't even imagine.

And yet they live longer...

44. Girls have standards. Seriously. We put major thought into these and expect them to be fulfilled. That does not make a girl a snob.

Given what we see every day, you could have fooled me.

46. Girls talk more about guys than guys ever could. Trust us: it's all we do.

And thank God for that.

47. It's not called leading you on if a girl is trying to see if there's possibility of pursuing the relationship.

HUH!?

48. Girls hate that guys make seemingly rational decisions that make no emotional sense.

A new form of penis envy?

49. Girls around the world are consistently trying to spy on guys in some way or another to find out what the hell goes on in a guy's mind.

Being insecure control freaks has nothing to do with it, of course.

53. We know you love it girls talk about their asses/boobs/etc. Did you really think we didn't know that?

Noooo, we like to look at those (if they are nice, of course). It really doesn't matter whether girls talk about them.


58. All girls really want is for you to offer a massage. Any body part is fine. Just the fact that you're offering is enough.

I would be careful what I ask for...

59. Not all girls are saucy minxes: we will let you know what we want and how far we'd like you to go with us. All we ask is for respect for us, whether we want one random night or a 6-month sex wait.

A guy I know really respected a girl who polished his knob in a parking lot near a Calgary nightclub. Said he just didn't need an overnight thing and sure as hell wasn't gonna go the fee for service route.

60. The minute a girl decides to be with you, she's already decided that anytime you need it, she'll sacrifice anything necessary to get it to you.
Anything, anytime, anywhere.

Any guy who believes this ought to have his head checked.