Quote:
Originally Posted by Yeah_Baby
ask 9 people you'll get 9 answers. Speaking up and challenging folks when you see or hear shady #### is a good place to start, because it takes the burden of the visibly queer or maybe even closeted person in the room.
Personally, I just hate the term 'ally' because I find it sort of used so much it's meaningless. I hear you though about speaking off the cuff etc. I can still #### up people's pronouns. It's a process and a journey and grace is a big part of that.
I am just tired of the 'be nicer, you'll use allies' arguement
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But that wasn’t the argument at all. The consequence isn’t losing allies, the consequence is criticizing and giving no grace to people who have absolutely earned it.
You actively have to decide that “it is what it is” is negative, or shady. There are plenty of ways to interpret that statement, including “it speaks for itself” and “I don’t know what to say about it,” and there are 100 different reasons why someone might not be able to find the right words. All I know is that the people in my life who actually try and have good intentions are special people to me, but they’re imperfect, so I give a lot of grace, and it pisses me off when people who don’t know them give them none, so I try to at least offer the same to people whose actions have earned that.
I used to get upset and feel the need to say something by every poor word choice or imperfect expression of what someone thinks, even if the intent was good. That’s just not a fun road to live on.