And they say we're dumb......
Susie, the Newfie housewife from Mount Pearl, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned-cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" Bruce came running in.
"Bruce, I've done bloody well suctioned myself to the floor," she said.
"God Dam" sez Bruce as he tried to pull her up. " You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get me buddy Sonny to help".
They came back and they both tried to pull her up. "No way, we can't do it,"
Sonny Sez, "so let's try Plan B."
"Plan B," exclaimed Bruce, "what da hell wud dat be bye?"
"I'll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles underneath her," replied Sonny.
"Righton, " Bruce sez "and while you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her nipples."
"Play with her nipples?" sez Sonny, " its not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"Like hell" sez Bruce, " if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are less expensive!"