[kermitology]

So, for the past year and a half my wife has been sick with long covid. She's unable to work, on long term disability, was mostly bed ridden for pretty much the entire fall/winter and part of the spring. As a result I'd been taking on the lion share of.. everything at home. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, kid activities, working full time. I was dying inside.

Toward the end of May I had a complete breakdown and then my marriage basically blew up. I spent 6 weeks separated from my wife and kids, seeing my daughters after school and on weekends. I had 3 panic attacks in less than 24 hours and spent a night in the psych ER in Victoria. It was one of the worst things I've ever experienced in my life.

I spent 3 weeks trying to calm my body and mind. I took 2 months off work with a short term leave, and I'm seeing a therapist.

I think that there are things that will work for different people, but for me a combination of medication, therapy, journaling, better sleep habits, and going to the gym a lot has made a world of difference to me. I was stuck in a bad place with a tonne of bad thoughts and rumination and existential dread.

I don't have any answers, but I'd start with seeing a therapist and getting some exercise in, walking was how I started. Do you have a friend you can talk to? I have a friend who I'm really close with, who has been a sounding board for me. It's hard for guys to open their heart like that, but it's really amazing after the fact.