Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Coffee
Yeah I see where you’re coming from to a degree but I think there is some nuance to the word “abuse” here. The controlling stuff yes, he definitely comes across as controlling and that is a bit over the top but he cages it in this sort of veiled “this is how I want things” type thing so to the extent she is not okay with it, it is in a way telling your partner what your boundaries are before the relationship goes too far and so- does boundary setting constitute “abuse”?
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And this is the issue with his faux therapist talk about boundaries. It's not setting boundaries that is the issue, it's the boundaries themselves that are red flags. I mean if I said my boundary is that "if the Flames get blown out by the Oilers I reserve the right to get drunk, angry, throw and hit things or you" like that's not a "boundary", that's just me being an abusive ####.
And then how he communicated with sarcastic quips, profanity laced tirades, and the whole playing the victim that becomes manipulative further exasperated by leading her on after the breakup. What you want to define that as I think is pretty much semantics. But I agree there is nuance which is why I started off with saying that no one is accusing him of anything actually remotely illegal. I almost said it shouldn't be in this thread and maybe a "Jonah Hill was a toxic partner" thread would be more fair.
But I think we reach the same point, I assume you would agree that you wouldn't want your daughter, son, or other loved one dating someone who requires that they:
- give up their dreams
- end their profession
- cut ties with friends and family
- never talk to the other gender
- control what they post on social media and other forms of how they communicate
All of these are hallmarks of the abuser playbook with isolation and dependency. These are like THE red flags of the beginning of an abusive relationship and Jonah's "boundaries" were pretty much matching those.
But then what's the end goal? Like I'm pretty much "good thing she dodged that bullet" but for her she felt the need to speak out to inform other people of emotional abuse she suffered whether for her own mental health and/or the opportunity to help others. Jonah probably believes this is an invasion of privacy and I could agree with some of the sexting stuff.
https://au.reachout.com/articles/sig...e-relationship