Quote:
Originally Posted by PepsiFree
Telling the person he was already dating, who was both a surfer and a model, that she couldn’t model, surf with men, or be seen in a swimsuit if she wanted to be with him.
Telling the person he was already dating who she could and couldn’t see, or under what terms she could see them.
Mocking models and the modelling profession, when she’s a model, and then accusing her of taking him for granted.
Trying to manipulate, control, and diminish your partner’s value is emotional abuse. What he’s listing off is not remotely a case of healthy boundaries.
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Yeah I see where you’re coming from to a degree but I think there is some nuance to the word “abuse” here. The controlling stuff yes, he definitely comes across as controlling and that is a bit over the top but he cages it in this sort of veiled “this is how I want things” type thing so to the extent she is not okay with it, it is in a way telling your partner what your boundaries are before the relationship goes too far and so- does boundary setting constitute “abuse”?
I didn’t see the mocking modeling stuff, might have missed that.
I would agree with you he is not setting healthy boundaries, and that certainly isn’t how I would conduct myself, but I guess my main contention is that really abuse? People get in arguments and try to figure out where they stand in relationships all the time. People say stupid stuff all the time or maybe things they regret, or they disagree and get passionate in such disagreements, but do those things really equal “abuse”? Because if so- I’m willing to bet like 50% or more of all relationships are emotionally abusive. Like, are you going to tell me that you’ve never been in a fight in a relationship or you’ve never gotten emotional? Because this is kinda more like what this looks like to me than “emotional abuse” which I would chalk up more to a massive power imbalance and a longer-term continual manipulation of a person.
Like, this discussion literally ended the relationship. Or are you saying that anytime a relationship is in a fight it constitutes emotional abuse?