[DoubleF]

I'm changing my mindset to survive parenthood, so I kinda get it. For me it's looking back at the DINK lifestyle but not remembering the cons of that lifestyle vs the pros of the parent lifestyle that can really erode away your mental health IMO. For me, I've been focusing on the following:

1. What is the least I can do today to bring a positive change to my environment for others? (preferably long term).

This ranges from wandering into a room and leaving with small bits of mess, to minor tweaks in how I behave or help with processes at work to foster a happier environment. I've met enough older and advanced aged individuals who are alone because they've driven everyone else away.

Like, individuals that drove their spouse to death or divorce and their kids don't interact with them because they're an #######. Plain and simple.

2. Less is more.

Adapted from programming principle, it loosely also ties into K.I.S.S.

Complicate life with more things, life is more complicated. Simplified life, simplified problems.

This isn't just physical clutter. It's digital clutter as well. Unsubscribe from stuff you don't need to know about and delete those apps you haven't used in 2+ years.

Sleep is the simplest way of disconnecting and getting R&R. Meditation isn't far from that simplicity as well. Alcohol, cannabis and other stuff is just more complex stuff to attain something similar.

3. Your legacy is created and maintained by others.

Designed into this concept is the concept of altruism vs hedonism. Others working with me means less effort from me, but a greater return on the effort and larger legacy. Maybe it's loosely based on the current "work smarter not harder" phrase. But I hate how people use that phrase.

4. Who cares?

This ties to gratitude and self worth plus focuses on important people in your life. One or two people's opinion who you truly care about are worth more than a hundred who want you to doom scroll their life and have no stake in your life.

It's kinda the stupid monkey with the cucumber and grape video. For all the grapes that the influencers have on instagram, they have tons of cucumbers in other categories where you have grapes. You were happy with a cucumber anyways, why are you suddenly raging you don't have a grape?

5. The roommate theory. (objectivity)

Delete all other relational aspects of other stuff. This attempt objectivity is that what you can do to be a better roommate to any roommate (but specifically to your spouse and kids or vice versa), is probably positive. Yes, the relationship aspect means you tolerate more ####, but at the fundamental level, leaving #### around the house is just being a bad roommate no matter the relationship level. You just might be lucky to have roommates that have tolerated a ton of bull#### for a long time.