I agree with all the previous posts regarding the dire need to increase the pirate population in order to stem the tide of global warming.
A ninja population explosion has been identified above as one factor leading to the near extinction of pirates world-wide. This is undoubtably correct.
But, there is another factor that is being overlooked. As many of you know, honey bees are dying off in epic proportions. This is another factor leading to global warming, but it is not merely a symptom as some journalists are attempting to imply on tabloid news outfits such as CNN and BBC.
You see, global warming isn't killing the bees off. The death of bees is causing global warming.
How, you may ask? Simple. The main motivation for becoming a pirate these days (aside from the lifestyle and benefits plan) is to steal honey. Yes, to raid the Queen's shipping lanes for that sweet, sweet nectar is, for many, the sole pecunairy reason why anyone would want to become a pirate in the first place.
But with bees dying off, there's less honey available. Coupled with the constant threat of ninja attacks (and not to mention the high expense of the Ghostbusters, which prevents wannabe pirates from employing an obvious means of protection from said ninja attacks) and the motivation for becoming a pirate just ain't what it used to be.
And, as we've already established above, less pirates means higher temperatures world-wide.
So rant about the loss of pirates and the connection to global warming all you want, but let's not forget one of the chief reasons why there are fewer pirates these days - because there are fewer bees.
(Please forgive this quite obvious attempt to revive this thread. I just thought it was too funny to die so soon.)
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