Quote:
Originally Posted by Puxlut
As a female, I am genuinely curious how all you guys decided that this procedure on yourself had to get done? Was it your wife that brought up the subject? Did you offer yourself up as tribute first? From what I am reading, it seems like a simple enough procedure, but was the fear of having more children worth altering your body? I never had this conversation with my husband, as I would never ask of him to do something that seems pretty unnecessary IMO. And at what age were you guys doing this? Late 30’s? 40’s? I started menopause when I was 48, so even if my husband got one done right after the birth of Puxlut Jr. it would have only protected against unwanted pregnancy for 12 years? Just seems odd to me?
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I can only speak for me, but it was a combination of things. First of all, yes, my wife brought it up after our 2nd child. I was on the fence about having a third, but she was pretty certain she didn't want another. Looking back, I think 2 is plenty.
The other factor when we decided is about age and being an effective parent. I did it at 41, and it was because the math wasn't in my favor. Even if we ended up with another child, at that time a pregnancy would have taken me to 42 at the birth, which meant that the child wouldn't turn 18 until I was 60. The thought of still parenting at 60 gave me pause, and so I felt it was time. Plus, my wife is about 6 years younger than me, so she has a long way to go to menopause, and so the risk of another unplanned pregnancy would be high.
But it was also a consideration of my wife's health. Taking hormone-based birth control isn't necessarily dangerous, but it does come with some risk factors. We figured that if you can do away with that entirely with a vasectomy, it's much better long term. It eliminates those possible health risks, it's a far more effective method of birth control, and it fit our plans for life.
I don't consider it altering my body anymore than getting dental work. Sure, it means I'm done having children, but that actually gives me peace of mind in some ways. I did take a year to consider it after it was first brought up, and she never demanded that I do it. It just made sense for us.