Quote:
Originally Posted by Minnie
My mother and her refusal to honor boundaries RGMG. I went full no contact with her in 2011, for very good reasons (somewhat listed toward the end of the Theoren Fleury thread). She tried contacting us in December, 2 years ago (sent a letter) - she'd decided that 10 years was long enough and we should come for Christmas and "just move on, because life is short and the pandemic has shown us that." Um, no? That's not for you to decide?
She sent a card yesterday. I just wrote on the back, and put return to sender on the front. My mother is a narcissist, very very VERY tied to appearances because she was a pastor's wife for a long time and because it kept her in the perpetual poor sad mom whose kid won't talk to her space, with all she's done for her blah blah space - and she can't lose that identity, because it would remove the blinders from people's eyes, as to who she really is. So, I wrote that she'd been requested to refrain from contact, to stop sending things and making attempts at contact and reiterated it with a "stop effing sending sh1t" at the end. Embarrassment/shame has pretty much been the only thing that's worked with her in the past and only used as a last resort. She "can't abide profanity" because Jesus so the fact that the post office staff will see that, that it will be gossiped about in her small town, that new(ish) hubby will see it, will not best please her. Not only that, it will sit in her mailbox for days, as I've just found out she and hubby are away for the next week.
I have 3 brothers. 2 moved to different provinces (one all the way to the east coast) to get away from her and make visits a major difficulty. I have zero contact and the other brother doesn't consider what they have a relationship but merely an acquaintanceship type thing - I think it's pretty obvious that the abuse was enough to cause major fractures with all her children.
I just need her to stop.
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Really an unfortunate situation. I hope that you are able to make peace with your mother someday. But that of course is just an opinion from someone who has very little knowledge of what you experienced.
I guess, look out for yourself and your family first, maybe one day thing will change, maybe not. Your choice.
Hope you are able to post more “what makes me happy” things in the future…. I enjoy those posts.