Quote:
Originally Posted by TrentCrimmIndependent
Yes.
No one wants their disability attached to their identity whenever they are addressed or referred to at work, at home or at social functions.
While it's important to embrace your situation so that it isn't an emotionally triggering minefield to navigate the world when any one at any time can choose to point it out (and you can never guarantee that every one has the same level of tactfulness), it also makes perfect sense to want to be addressed as your name, first and foremost.
In this discussion, I just used "disabled person" because I didn't have a name to put to the victim, and to help differentiate who I'm speaking about. I suppose "young lady" would've sufficed, though. I'll try to consider that next time.
A bit of a tangent from your point, but as someone with a minor physical disadvantage but one that isn't as noticeable as someone in a wheelchair, in my own experience I've found that the less your predicament matters to you, the less it will matter to other people. Really we show other people how to see us by how we see ourselves.
Funny enough I've wound up dating people who initially made fun of my condition when I met them, because they learned to look past it. Since you can't ensure everybody else has manners no matter how much you try, the next best thing you can do is make sure it doesn't rattle you, and let who you are shine brighter than your difference/s.
But I'm fully on board with eliminating these labels as the social "norm" and moving to change the culture and stigmas around disabilities. Also making places for mingling and connecting accessible to every one
Nowadays there is all this chatter about inclusiveness and normalization for minorities and sexual orientations, but I feel like those with disabilities are still being forgotten in the background and are those that arguably need it the most. And I really wish we would address this more frequently.
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Thanks for sharing your insight, I totally understand your use of the terminology "disabled" it is after all a learning minefield out there. I too just try to be myself and not think about being deaf. I fully accept it and it is part of who I am and who I want to be. Like you, sometimes I meet people who are unsure how to approach me or talk to me and thats normal. It is when they see it is not really an issue they feel so much better. It is on all of us to be better and more understanding.