I remember having an existential crisis when I was 7 or 8 years old, when I started thinking pretty deeply one night laying in bed about how there was nothing before I was born, and what happens after we die. And then trying to understand how if "God" created us, then who created him? He couldn't have just been there forever right? What is forever? I got myself pretty worked up and anxious as I contemplated my own existence for the first time.
As a rationale and scientific person who needs evidence to support my beliefs, I've always felt most inclined to believe that it's just blackness after we die. However, I've definitely had some interesting spiritual experiences since my Dad passed away in 2021. Those experiences have made me believe that maybe there is more going on than we are capable of understanding. My mind consistently tries to rationalize these experiences as coincidence and coping mechanisms, and that's likely what they are, but it's still nice to have some hope from them that I may see my best friend again.
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