[CroFlames]

Originally Posted by Jay Random

Quoted from the OOT thread for posterity:



KINGS GO ‘OLD TESTAMENT’ ON OILERS

Gideon's Bible Society, Hockey Division

In the eleventh month, on the sixteenth day, the host of the Kings came up from the city of the angels of the LORD, even unto the city of the host of the Oil, which is No Good:

And they entered into the house of abomination, that is the temple of Rogers,

And there did battle against the host of the Oil for three periods, even from the faceoff unto the buzzer.

And Connor the son of David, the captain of the host of the Oil, did evil in the sight of the Referees;

And he was made to sit in the box of repentance, for his play was unclean.

But the host of the Kings made many offerings of rubber, according to the rites that are written in the Book of the Rules;

And Trevor, priest of the house of Moore, thrice laid the disc of the covenant in the tabernacle of the goal.

Then the host of the Kings was entered in the tablet of the Standings under the letter Waw, for they did what is righteous; and they went away from that place, and there was great rejoicing.

But the host of the Oil was entered under the letter Lamed, for they did what is evil in the eyes of the Fans;

And there was weeping and gnashing of teeth in the city of No Good, and great was the stench thereof.

Here endeth the lesson.

This is too good haha. Even got the random italics in there like the actual bible.