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CaptainCrunch · 10-26-2022, 01:36 PM

Spoiler!

In the news today the Canadian Federal Government has called for a House of Commons committee to examine the brutal assault and injury on Conna McDavid.

"This was a gross display of violence" screamed Monty Brown a Conservative MP "This cannot stand" If this happened in the streets we're talking arrests, lengthy prison sentences and compensation to Conna and his family". In a rare show of solitary all parties agreed to this commission, its expected to last 6 weeks and cost $100 million dollars. Its expected that Jeff Petry will be called as a hostile witness with the normal house rules of decorum suspended so the use of physical violence can be used to elicit a confession.

A tear full Justin Trudeau commented on the steps of the House of Commons, and was joined arm and arm with Pierre Poli something and Jagmeet Singh as they vowed to pass Bill C-97 which would make it illegal to physically touch Connor on the ice.

"He's a national treasure, that all Canadians rally around and he's beloved by every person in Canada. All woman want to be with him, and all men want to be him, or with him or something like that" he said through sobs.

Meanwhile the UN passed a resolution laying the most brutal sanctions in history on the City of Pittsburgh "We demand that the Penguins be dissolved and as compensation Sidney Crosby sent to play with the Oilers and act as Conna's butler".

Meanwhile in other Hollywood news, a literally collection of elite film and documentary makers are fighting for the rights to make a documentary around this tragedy with Steven Speilberg in the lead

"15 minutes in hell, the amazing recovery of Conna McDavid" is expected to air on Sportsnet this Sunday and its been prenominated for a Oscar. Conna has been named as the producer."

Meanwhile a hockey board CalgaryPuck is being sued for Slander by HFOIL and is expected to lose a judgement in excess of $50 million dollars.

"Those bastards are unnecessarily mean to Conna and were literally laughing at this near fatal and gross assault on him" The poster who bought up the suit apply named, "Connorsbabyfactory" who's real name is Gus Bartowski (gross) has retained the services of mega lawyer Jerry Dewitt

In other news Mike Tyson shockingly bit the ear off of his child's nanny yesterday . . .

10-26-2022, 01:36 PM	#2259
CaptainCrunch Norm! Join Date: Jun 2002 Exp:	Spoiler! In the news today the Canadian Federal Government has called for a House of Commons committee to examine the brutal assault and injury on Conna McDavid. "This was a gross display of violence" screamed Monty Brown a Conservative MP "This cannot stand" If this happened in the streets we're talking arrests, lengthy prison sentences and compensation to Conna and his family". In a rare show of solitary all parties agreed to this commission, its expected to last 6 weeks and cost $100 million dollars. Its expected that Jeff Petry will be called as a hostile witness with the normal house rules of decorum suspended so the use of physical violence can be used to elicit a confession. A tear full Justin Trudeau commented on the steps of the House of Commons, and was joined arm and arm with Pierre Poli something and Jagmeet Singh as they vowed to pass Bill C-97 which would make it illegal to physically touch Connor on the ice. "He's a national treasure, that all Canadians rally around and he's beloved by every person in Canada. All woman want to be with him, and all men want to be him, or with him or something like that" he said through sobs. Meanwhile the UN passed a resolution laying the most brutal sanctions in history on the City of Pittsburgh "We demand that the Penguins be dissolved and as compensation Sidney Crosby sent to play with the Oilers and act as Conna's butler". Meanwhile in other Hollywood news, a literally collection of elite film and documentary makers are fighting for the rights to make a documentary around this tragedy with Steven Speilberg in the lead "15 minutes in hell, the amazing recovery of Conna McDavid" is expected to air on Sportsnet this Sunday and its been prenominated for a Oscar. Conna has been named as the producer." Meanwhile a hockey board CalgaryPuck is being sued for Slander by HFOIL and is expected to lose a judgement in excess of $50 million dollars. "Those bastards are unnecessarily mean to Conna and were literally laughing at this near fatal and gross assault on him" The poster who bought up the suit apply named, "Connorsbabyfactory" who's real name is Gus Bartowski (gross) has retained the services of mega lawyer Jerry Dewitt In other news Mike Tyson shockingly bit the ear off of his child's nanny yesterday . . . __________________ My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!