[Shazam]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

Well, lets see this whole thing through shall we?

Picard - The greatest captain humanity has ever had reduced to a blustery, bumbling grandpa who makes wine and cosplays as a pirate.

Riker - The eternally optimistic and charismatic leader is now a fat, pessimistic pizza chef, likely dealing with...

Troi - The patient, compassionate psychotherapist in the worst parts of Betazoid menopause resulting in her becoming a raging hormonal bitch with telepathy who takes no s*** from anyone and doesn't gaf anymore and just roasts everyone. Actually, that would be pretty cool.

Worf - The proud warrior who longed for glorious combat is now a pacifist, which leads me to believe they somehow haven't managed to cure erectile dysfunction even in the 24th century.

LaForge - Finally gets a boyfriend. And good for him.

Lore - The evil android is reassembled and reprogrammed to teach cosmetology at the Starfleet Academy School For Barbers.

Crusher - The kind and devoted doctor who took an oath to do no harm decides to take up MMA in her 80's and kicks the crap out of rooms full of people a quarter her age, while not doctoring anyone.

Moriarty - Got sick of his countess, pushed her out an airlock, and hooked up with holo Leah Brahms for steamy engine room sex. When he finds out about perv Geordi his honor is tarnished and he plans his revenge.

The new villian - Its Shinzon's mom, and she's pissed!

Literally better than the last two ST movies.