The gear grinder isn’t having to go to dinner, it’s just being asked to go to dinner and the person being upset he said no. It’s kind of pointless to come up with reasons why a completely reasonable emotional response is actually unreasonable. It doesn’t matter if he never asks her to go or if he has a good reason for not going, she wants him to go and she’s upset he said no, which is normal.
In general though, I think the best advice is not to air out issues or discuss annoyances with your long term partner on public message boards. I can’t think of a situation where that would be a good idea.
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