Quote:
Originally Posted by Scroopy Noopers
People expecting you to go is the “sitcom story” part of this whole thing. It doesn’t exist in real life, but you need it to make the complaint work.
I too have skipped several of my very close friends weddings due to distance/expense. We’re still as close… of course, because they’re normal humans.
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Weddings are just supposed to be big parties for a big milestone event. Those that never lose sight of the fact it is a party, things are good and friendships prevail whether or not people show up. For those that treat it like a production, there's always drama and friendships often do not prevail.
Honestly speaking, it's not the cost. It's the attitude.
I attended a $400,000, 3 day destination wedding this summer. There were like 200 people that attended and only a handful of us spent less than $1K on hotels and travel. The bride and groom actually discouraged people to attend if the cost to go was too high for them. They also said that they were not expecting a gift from anyone who attended. Nearly every damn portion of that whole thing was covered by the couple. The couple respected that many took time off and spent lots in resources to show up and thus they wanted to ensure anyone who showed up would have a good time. Meals, snacks (late night), taxi/shuttles, parking, drinks (private bar), photo shoots etc. were covered by them. They never once lost sight of the fact this was their own selfish party to celebrate this milestone. But they were also careful to be intentional to ensure the wedding was a party, not a production. However, this couple was the type of couple that regularly hosts 50-100 people holiday dinners with their friends. They regularly throw parties that are huge. This one was going to be their crown jewel for parties. It honestly was one of the most intimate and fun weddings I've ever attended and I honestly can say we spent like 20-30 hours total with the bride/groom and around 1-2 hours of truly personal time with them.
Others who put together productions with over the top stag/stagette parties... I don't think my wife and I stayed in touch with anyone that pulled that kind of self masturbatory and narcissistic of an event regardless of whether $40K or $200K was spent. Seriously, you sit there cringing because you know their vows are pure lies and horrific stuff like that. Luckily, we have had less than a handful of these situations because the vast majority of our friends are not ####ty people.