[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Wormius

So do you refuse to attend any out of town weddings too? I don’t see the big deal. If I was planning on attending someone’s wedding that lived far enough away from Calgary that it wasn’t just a day trip, I’d rather it be somewhere fun, and not Podunk-backwoods-ville Saskatchewan.

Ugh I barely feel like talking about this, but I guess I'll finish what I started.

I don't like putting pressure and stress on people.

I think a destination wedding two countries over puts a lot of stress on people - financial stress, work stress, holiday stress, organizational stress.

I think it penalizes people of lesser financial means - I value fairness. I wouldn't want to share an important life experience with the people I care about based on their wealth; I prefer - and plan - events that don't exclude people with less money than me.

I think if you want to do a group thing that's fun, you can plan a fun trip. People don't mind saying 'no' to those if they can't afford it or if they have stresses in their lives (sick relatives, bad timing at work, limited vacation time, other commitments, etc.). As soon as you tie it to a milestone or unique event like a wedding, though, it's harder to say no and it's uncomfortable to be excluded, so you've now put stress onto people where it didn't need to exist.

I also don't like the 'main-character' mentality of planning a weeklong celebration of yourself. I mean, everyone is there for you. You're the guest of honour and it's not just a day and a night like a typical wedding. You are the "celebrity" for a whole week and I think it's selfish, tacky and lacking in class to elevate yourself in such a manner.

If you want to go away with your friends and family somewhere, then by all means put out an email saying, 'hey guys, trisha and I are going to Mexico in May 2023 and we were thinking it'd be awesome if a whole ####-ton of us went. trish found a smokin' deal on an all-inclusive in Mexico and if we book as a group it'll be $1850/person. who's in!?!?!?!'

But to get the resort's wedding package where you and trish are in a villa while everyone else is in the standard poolside room and the guests have to kiss your feet and trish's for the entire week, you've literally lost all my respect.

I don't mind going out of town on a little road trip to a wedding and I think two nights somewhere isn't a big expectation to place on people. That's a weekend.