This thread has a lot of great advice and conversation in it. I hope that I just read through 7 pages of it can show CM that a lot of people do truly care about him. I also can't help but notice how many people I run into that seem to be in your same situation. I hope you can realize how big of a step even starting this thread is.
Humans are complex in that there's no lever to pull for this to make it all better. What works for one of us likely won't work for the other. There's no real silver bullet here, but there are a hell of a lot of lead ones:
- Sleep
- Exercise
- Social activities
- Hobbies
- Real food
What some have pointed out is also true... depending on where you're at, the above might be a lot. The common advice to depressed people is to move your body, which is correct, it's also missing the context that when you're depressed you might not be able to without incredible effort. In my experience the bullet points above are great for the in-between times when you're not in the pit.
I went through some stuff a few years ago, and the trauma of a wolf attack sent me down a very valuable path of self-discovery. Some of the things that helped me:
- a therapist that I went to 4 times gave me some tidbits that I literally think about every day (I recognize my privilege in being able to afford this)
- Journalling is a great way to get a bird's eye view of the battlefield. There's a disconnect I can't explain with writing, where you can give form to some of those feelings and maybe see them from a different angle. I appreciate some feel silly doing it, but it's a low-stakes thing to try.
- Meditation for me has been key, mostly in recognizing that thoughts are not coming from me, but I have a choice in how I want to act on them (several have recommended yoga, which can be very similar and perhaps more important as you mentioned your body is breaking down)
- The concept of a "check engine light"... if I ever feel a strong draw to <insert destructive behaviour here>, I must go for a walk around my neighbourhood without distraction. I have several of these mini-rules set up.
- In the same vein, recognizing that it's very hard to change the mind with the mind, and the body with the body. Change the mind with the body, and change the body with the mind.
- Motivation follows action, but we usually get this backwards. Saying "I'll go for a walk when inspiration strikes" is a poor strategy. You go for the walk and then inspiration finds you. Again, if you are in the pit, this can be extremely difficult, so don't beat yourself up if you can't
- For me there was a great freedom in not pushing back against life. The concept that I was doing it wrong or that there was some magical destination that I couldn't find was crushing.
- The answers to these things are often simple, but in no way easy. Jumping off a 10m diving board is just a simple step, but most people wouldn't be able to do it.
- Most importantly (to me) is I believe almost no positive change can occur without some love for yourself. I found metta meditations (loving kindness) were huge for me. They forced me to be kind to myself for a few minutes each day, and eventually I tricked myself into believing it.
Again, the above is part of my path and yours will be different. Pick and choose as you see fit. Thank you for the thread.
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