[CaptainCrunch]

So just for fun, the hockeywriters.com rated the top 12 fastest skaters in the history of the NHL. Conna was measured by Sportsnet with an average on ice speed of 40 km per hour.

The Conna has pretty much played an average of 22 minutes a game, so in a game, he'd skate 14.66 km roughly per night.

In his career he's played a total of 524 games, (487 regular, 36 playoffs).

so in his short 7 year career he's skated 7,685 km. which is something like Skating to Toronto and back to Calgary then out to winnipeg.

I would expect that Conna gets hit, smoked, bumped, physically contacted between 5 or 10 times a game.

So he's probably absorbed about 5000 hits in his career.

Eventually those tires are going to wear out, and with the Oilers just throwing ice time on him, I doubt he can maintain his level of play into his late 30's. He'll be a broken down 4th line plug in his early 30th bemoaning the loss of his speed. His lack of winning, the fact that he got arthritis and some weird infection that never went away due to his winters in Edmonton, and suffered several serious concussions while trying to slam dunk his basket ball in his home court that his stupid ex girlfriend designed with a 7 foot ceiling.

The Tragedy of Conna McDavid will be a series not made by the Oilers and Sportsdesk with the Conna as producer. It'll be made by Pauley Shore and the publishers of Mad Magazine.