Quote:
Originally Posted by Twitchy15
Yeah definitely going to be less open with my mom from now on. My dad did want a relationship with my sister but she refused to talk to him which upset him she never told him why.
Not loving the situation I am in would of been easier if he left more direction but I didn't even think about this happening previously. I can just imagine what he would say about the situation..
My sister is 27 and lives at home and very sheltered and naïve she probably did not expect any of the money. I also did not expect to be receiving this much money probably 4x the amount I expected. So I will already be getting more then expected so giving 50% to her isn't end of the world just hate how my mother approached it all.
If I won this amount of money I would not be giving any of it away. The fact it is from a parent makes it slightly different but also she wanted nothing to do with him so weird situation.
And I am being guilt tripped essentially to give 50% because in life I am doing better than her so to my mother that is even more reason to give her the money. And of course I don't want my sister to have a hard life either with the money she might be able to go to school and figure out something for a better career versus minimum wage
Super misguided but my mother is also saying because my wife parents a fairly wealthy she thinks we will receive $$ one day.. maybe but who knows.
Just kind of annoying to basically be told what to do.. When I confronted her about talking about all this within 7 days of his death she said she was worried I was going to put the money in a investment account and then say oh too bad can't access it anymore..
She let me know my sister deserves 50% RRSP and life insurance but I can keep what's in the bank acct and his vehicle lol
|
Sounds super frustrating.
Honestly, it seems like the root of this issue goes back much deeper. Like obviously this is just outside looking in a million miles away, but seems like your sister is maybe being enabled and/or wasnt taught how to fight her own battles or deal with strenuous relationships.
Like why is your mom even involved in this? Seems like its a convo between you and your sister.
Then another question for your sister is, why does she get the money, but not have the relationship? It goes both ways. If you didnt want to have a relationship with the dad, for whatever reason, thats totally up to her and her boundary to draw. But if you make that boundary you have absolutely no right towards that person's money, and have to respect their boundary too. It seems wrong to me that your sister would feel entitled or deserving of any money from a person they willfully cut out. But again, thats what makes it seem like it goes much further and that we arent dealing with healthy coping mechanisms and reasonable logic.
You're in a tough spot, and certainly it seems like you really care about all of these people and have done your best to keep it all together. If you want to continue keeping the peace and these relationships the way they are, you probably have no choice but to share 50/50.
But you may also want to just do some deep thinking about creating your own boundaries with your close family members that in my mind, are the ones putting you in an unfair position, and putting you in a position of hard making hard decisions. Why is that? And why should you be forced to do all of the work?