Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt Reeeeead
I might have made the same mistake of over sharing with a parent, but to me shows the importance of communication management. I believe the following are applicable:
1. It’s your money, no obligation
2. Your mom is overstepping her boundary and risking rift with you. I wouldn’t trust her with discretion going forward
3. You probably should share with your sister. Sounds like your dad was tough and I feel unfair for the children to carry the burden of strained relationships. Your dad should have done the right thing years ago and repaired the relationship before it got this far.
4. You really have no choice at this point to give the money as everyone knows the amount and you will be forever screwed if you don’t. It’s not fair, but it’s not worth it.
You had good intentions, but if you really wanted to keep more than 50%, you will have to be more discrete next time and manage the communication, even if it feels wrong or your concealing too much. Just won’t get it both ways when it comes to money.
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Yeah definitely going to be less open with my mom from now on. My dad did want a relationship with my sister but she refused to talk to him which upset him she never told him why.
Not loving the situation I am in would of been easier if he left more direction but I didn't even think about this happening previously. I can just imagine what he would say about the situation..
My sister is 27 and lives at home and very sheltered and naïve she probably did not expect any of the money. I also did not expect to be receiving this much money probably 4x the amount I expected. So I will already be getting more then expected so giving 50% to her isn't end of the world just hate how my mother approached it all.
If I won this amount of money I would not be giving any of it away. The fact it is from a parent makes it slightly different but also she wanted nothing to do with him so weird situation.
And I am being guilt tripped essentially to give 50% because in life I am doing better than her so to my mother that is even more reason to give her the money. And of course I don't want my sister to have a hard life either with the money she might be able to go to school and figure out something for a better career versus minimum wage
Super misguided but my mother is also saying because my wife parents a fairly wealthy she thinks we will receive $$ one day.. maybe but who knows.
Just kind of annoying to basically be told what to do.. When I confronted her about talking about all this within 7 days of his death she said she was worried I was going to put the money in a investment account and then say oh too bad can't access it anymore..
She let me know my sister deserves 50% RRSP and life insurance but I can keep what's in the bank acct and his vehicle lol