Quote:
Originally Posted by stone hands
Yeah but that person isnt living anymore and cant really care one way or another
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... and that's literally not the issue in OP. The issue is that people are idiots and blood means little when it comes to money. Yes, the person is dead so they don't have veto and cannot mediate the situation. The issue is the remaining people being kids on the playground playing to hurt.
If I'm OP, I think I consider leaving the funds in probate so that the waters cannot get muddied by combining the estate with OP's personal funds. It's just easier to deal with if it's kept separate. Who cares if the funds get stuck for a while or end up slowly draining. Combining it with OPs personal funds likely is a headache likely not even worth the windfall from the estate until sorted out.
Legally it seems OP is entitled to 100%, his sister and mom 0%. Morally is a different issue. I do believe it is likely easier to leave the money in probate and argue than it is to distribute and then have personal funds rolled into the mess.
OP's mom says she is entitled to 50% and threatening to destroy the relationship over money. OP's mom is also attacking OP's spouse. OP was going to give his sister some money, but not 50%. I have no clue if OP's sister is behind the mom making these claims that she should get 50% or not. It's sometimes possible that someone like the sister doesn't really care and it's some intermediary that's creating drama. Power moves like "Hey, I got you this money, you owe me." for a favor that is never possible to repay.
If I'm OP, maybe I'd consider chatting with the sister directly without mom.
Explain that legally she has no entitlement to the estate, but she is free to challenge the estate via probate (get something written like an affidavit or email admitting she isn't challenging the will). Hide behind dad and say it's not OP, it's dad. Be mad at dad, not OP. If she doesn't, he'll give her a fixed amount from him personally after receiving the windfall as a good sibling, but make no mistake, the amount she receives is from OP, not dad. Say that OP is not sister's proxy for her hatred of dad.
The biggest issue OP is likely in right now is that even after receiving 50% mom or whoever still think it's not enough and it snowballs. People are knucking futs and ####ty when it comes to stuff like this. You could have an estate worth $10K and yet a sibling who has never ever touched the deceased's wealth has sibling demand $50K+ from them because of perceived wrongdoings the sibling has supposedly done. Paying is actually considered an admission of guilt, accept the windfall and these people demand a multiple of the windfall for greedy reasons. It's insane levels of familial drama and relational blackmail. People suck.