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Originally Posted by the-rasta-masta
I'm in a similar position with my Dad passing away right before Christmas. I've had similar struggles with wanting to start purging some of the items, but my Mom is living in the house still (and I don't think she'll move despite that it was way to big for two of them, let alone her by herself). She doesn't want to be reminded of Dad's death by empty closets, so all Dad's clothes are still there. She still has both my Dad's vehicles in the triple garage so that it doesn't look empty despite them not being driven for coming up 6 months.
I can see big work ahead when she decides to move (or worse, it's shocking to watch her decline since he passed despite her being only 72, they did everything together and now she doesn't seem interested in building a life without him), and my sister is definitely going to be challenging to deal with in terms of getting rid of items in the future. My sister took over my Dad's cell phone number because she couldn't imagine it belonging to anybody else (which is certainly jarring to those family members she hasn't told about her taking over the phone number when she texts or calls them the first time). I can't imagine what she'll think about bigger items down the line if a cell phone number that meant nothing to him was such a big deal. But I've just held my tongue as the grief process hits different for each of us.
Executorship fell on me and it's definitely been a lot of work. My Mom offered me an executor fee and I felt too prideful to take it. Even after most of the transfers have been completed, the month to month is still a lot and will continue to be a lot. My Dad took care of my Mom and she never paid a bill in her life, and he certainly had a complex estate. Managing her two properties/maintenance, 3 vehicles/maintenance, taxes, on top of my own obligations and young family is certainly a lot of added stress that I've taken on.
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Dad's clothes were a big thing with my mom too. WE had a cousin take her out for the day and went through his closet. As for the executorship, I'm in the same boat. Its amazing even when they had so many of their affairs in order, there is still so much to do....even just changing names on accounts.