I feel for you tmac. My parents got a cat in my early teens, and she quickly became "my" cat. She had fatty liver disease and died at age 11. The last week was incredibly rough, as she struggled to walk and I had to force-feed her food and meds. I remember only a few days before she died she was in rough shape, and to calm her down I picked her up, laying down on the couch and laying her on my chest—as she had done on her own hundreds of times before but no longer could—and she purred away... while I broke down and cried.
I felt like I should have seen the signs she was sick much earlier, and failed her as an owner. I've never owned another pet ever since.
Don't blame yourself, like I did.
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