Another tough night, but she managed to get the most sleep she's gotten since this ordeal started; 4 hours. I'm tired too since I respond immediately to any text she sends me, regardless of the hour. But I will never take sleep for granted again and not complain about my own lack of sleep.
She said today some food arrived and they started handing it out to some residence in the village. Still, they have a food supply of their own and didn't want to leave their apartment in case it was some kind of ambush, trick, or some way to deport people. They don't want to show their faces to anybody. Crazy to even think that way, but that is their mentality now; trust nothing going on around them. Still, the place has been cut off from food for a week and trick or not, I'm glad some people got something to eat.
Overall her ability to mentally withstand this is dwindling. As we were speaking she started freaking out, as dozens of helicopters started flying overhead. She's on edge 24/7. She's seen the photos and videos in her home city of Kharkov. Heartbreaking for her. Begged her to stop watching the news, photos, and whatnot as it is only torture. I know it's easier said than done. The big square in the center that got bombed yesterday was where he had our first date and is both our favorite places when we visit Kharkov. #### this war so much.
Tried to distract her by sending her various emails, posts and messages from my friends and family offering their prayers and support for her. Not sure if it works, but if for even a split second she feels hope, it's worth it. Her and her mom fully agree that this is no way to live and they would rather be dead then live a life like this. It's scary to think like that and breaks my heart when she said it so bluntly. I try to talk to her about our future together, remind her of her ambitions, moving to Canada to start a family. But all she thought about today was not living. Having said that, she has never been suicidal and I don't believe she would act on it. Just...super sad to hear someone say something like that when they have lost all hope.
Today is also a sad day for both of us, as it was supposed to be her return flight to Poland today.
