notoepik - Got Wood?
Professional Surfer/Retired Madam, Born Becky Constance Noring Schumacher on October 14, 1962 in Kalispell, Montana. Becky is a Swedish-born entrepreneur and athlete.
The oldest of 4 children, Becky graduated top of her high school class in 1980. She then rejected a full scholarship to Harvard to pursue her dream of becoming a madam. Her prominent funeral director father Drew Schumacher disowned Becky once she made her career intentions known. “I can not serve the dead while my daughter services the living!”
In 1981 Becky moved to Billings Montana and opened her brothel “Becky’s Beauties”. At first the business was lucrative; however it did gain the attention of local pimp “Suede Crotch Valentine” who didn’t enjoy the competition. The Pimp War between the two is well documented with hundreds of casualties on both sides. The war ended when Becky closed her brothel and moved to Chicago Illinois around the last time Mr. Valentine was ever heard from.
In 1985 Becky changed her name to notoepik, the name reflects her repulsion to everything to do with the human foot and especially the toes. This may have something to do with the fact that she has a wodden peg leg, no one knows for sure.
In 1992 notoepik got really drunk while on a weekend trip to Las Vegas and somehow married Sam Manilla an Elvis impersonator. Since then the two have had 7 children.
In 1998 notoepik turned to the water for cleansing. She is now ranked 7th in Lake Michigan’s female surfing circuit.
The 1981 pimp war with Mr. Valentine gave notoepik a taste for blood, when she heard the Blackhawks were looking for a new General Manager she jumped at the chance! However she has since admitted that at the time she thought the Blackhawks were a tribe of murders in the Chicago area.
Stay tuned for the next CPHL Biography: nyrcrisfer – Why was I fired? I only crashed the plane twice (and was drunk for only one of those)!