[Sylvanfan]

OIL SLICK KILLS DUCKS
So Ducks play dirty

Well the Anaheim Mighty Ducks figured the way to slow down the red hot Oilers was going to be to go out and injure Oiler players. When the dust settled the Oilers had sat the little duckies down, force fed those stupid frickin pallets down their god dam**d throats and thouroughly whooped the Ducks collective asses to the tune of 9-2. In the process Oilers superstar defenceman Matthias Ohlund suffered a concussion on a bizzare hook by Janny Dr.Hook Ninimaa, and Boby Holik was sidelined with a bruised sternem after a Joffrey Lupul ran at him, jumped and led with his head football style. Losing the two soldiers early in the battle seemed to rally the troops though, as the Oilers came together and annihilated the Ducks.

The Oilers again opened the scoring in the first when Stephan Quintal was able to beat Steve Passmore from just inside the center RED line. But the Ducks responded quickly with a goal from Rob Blake, and Raffi Torres gave them the lead 4 minutes later. But that was the end for the Ducks as the Oilers began an assault of 8 consecutive goals against laughable Duck goaltending and team play. Bates Battaglia, Kristian Huselius, and Vincent Lecavalier tallied goals in the latter half of the first period to give the Oilers a 4-2 lead at the first intermission.

Brian Leetch tallied a powerplay marker to make the score 5-2 Oilers after 2. In the third the Oilers showed their superior conditioning and turned the red light on 4 more times making the final 9-2. Alex Frolov, Marian Hossa, Vincent Lecavalier, and red hot Tom Poti were able to beat up on Brad AHL Topping for the second straight day. Sebastian Caron showed what a good backup does and turned aside 26 of 28 shots for his third straight win.

Lecavalier and Brian Leetch both enjoyed 4 point nights for the Oilers. Marian Hossa tallied 3 points and 4 other players enjoyed 2 point efforts. The win was the Oilers 8th in a row since Sylvanfan and Bobby Schmautz beat the equipmentless players with sticks at practice 2 weeks ago. The Oilers remain atop the Howe conference with 43 points only 2 off of the top spot in the CPHL. Today marked Sylvanfan's 20th game with the Oilers, and in that stretch the Oilers have posted a 16-4-0-2 record for 34 points (last year it took him 86 games to get that many points with the Panthers, and the dumbass only won 14 all year long). The Oilers have outscored opponents 97-46 in that stretch, and are now the top scoring team in the CPHL on a per game basis and rank 2nd in goals against. Next up for the battered Oilers is a game against those Jekyll and Hyde Caps again.