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Originally Posted by RichieRich
Btw… hope you have figured out some solutions and coping mechanisms that work both short and long term? Dealing with high anxiety people is very difficult and it’s hard to know what is “right” in the moment or “good enough”.
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Yup, I've become a master alchemist of my own body and it's self-care. I have some long-term and short term solutions. I learned long ago not to rely on our medical system for any ailment that is persistent.
I've also found a lot of general coping mechanisms. You've mentioned some this thread.
MY TOP TIPS GENERAL TIPS FOR ANYONE STRUGGLING
Focus on what you can control, one step at a time.
If life has dumped a turd on you, it doesn't help to sit and wallow in it. You don't have to suppress your emotions to work on solutions quickly. You can often simultaneously work through the emotions while you find a way to get out from under it. When it's incredibly hard to get started, start with the smallest possible step you can. That's the only way to climb the mountain you're facing.
Take care of yourself
Two parts to this:
- Take full responsibility for solving what ails you, no matter how you got there. Nobody is going to save you but yourself. It doesn't matter how hard or unfair it is. The sooner you can set aside any self-pity, the better you'll be able to improve your situation.
- There's nothing more important than our most basic needs of diet, exercise and sleep. Keeping good healthy patterns both helps us through stress and helps us our body's natural ability to cope and heal.
Talking to loved ones/Counselling/Support groups
Talk to your loved ones but be sure the talking is healthy for both of you and the relationship. If you don't want a bunch of suggestions for help and just want to vent, communicate that as soon as possible. Realize many great and loving people can only handle so much and also have trouble putting themselves in others' shoes. Try not to take things personally if someone isn't getting it and just enjoy their company.
Drop the dang stigma about counselling. If you're 30 over over, it's virtually certain you could benefit from counselling. The world is harsh for most people, and our modern world puts more pressures on us than ever. You don't have to wait until you're completely messed up. I'm so glad I proactively pursued this before my newest health issues hit me this year.
There are loads of FB support groups out there for different things, and they can be extremely helpful. I'd imagine there are even support groups for people dealing with loved ones' illnesses.
Do things that give you joy
Anything that can help you unplug and be happy for a short time will give you great benefit. Drop the "can't" and find substitutions. If you only a tiny bit of time, fine, but find something that works and do it!
Emotional Journaling
"Write a letter and burn it" type of idea. It helps to sort out the storm of emotions we have swirling inside. Be brutally honest. I do my emotional journaling through voice memos on my phone. If it feels hard to approach by directly aiming for your emotions, just do life update entries, like a morning check-in and evening check-in. I call my cell phone "Wilson" because I'm so often talking to it.
Breathing exercises.
Simply controlling our breathing can massively help stress, sleep, and have a myriad of other benefits. Slower, deeper breathing has a positive physiological effect of helping switch your body from fight or flight mode to rest and digest mode. Through my illnesses I actually have excess stress/fight or flight signals being fired constantly on top of typical stress.
If people knew how powerful breathwork can be even right when you start with it, a heck of a lot more people would do it. You don't have to study for years as a mountaintop yogi or monk to get great benefits. You don't need a bunch of time. 5-15 minutes can help a lot, especially once you learn it a little bit.
If you can learn to take very slow and deep breaths, then you have a tool you can use
ANYWHERE AND ANYTIME throughout your day. Even if you are busy, you can do conscious breathing while you're doing whatever else you need to.
I was in excruciating pain and discomfort for my 45 mins of MRIs and the tech said I was very still compared to most people. My physiotherapist said she'd barely be able to touch me if I were most people, but instead she thinks she may have done the more aggressive and painful stuff to me in the first few sessions out of anyone she's ever treated. (Shockwave, dry needling, "manual work" - starts with the foreplay of hands but often ends with fricken' elbows.) I pushed through it and got fixed faster. There's no way in heck I'd have been able to these things, nor be in as good of a place as I am without my breathing practice.
Breathwork is an amazing treatment for stress, and I find holding my breath is a good stress test. I've held my breath for over 3 minutes (during deep breathing exercises), can exhale continuously for 90 seconds, and I've slowed down to one breath a minute for 15+ minutes. The better you can get at this stuff, the better coping and general well-being tools you'll have.
Below are some good exercises to start with. I often like to lay down even if they say not to, as this sends relaxation signals to your body.
If you don't like the idea of guided sessions, try laying down and listening to some relaxing music you like, take deep and slow breaths. You can let thoughts wander but try to focus on your breathing as much as possible.