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Originally Posted by Stampede2TheCup
I'm sorry to hear this to both of you. This sort of denialism seems very similar to how people around me have fallen badly into denialism when my health challenges have been at their worst. I think it's basically like anxiety that becomes a mental blockage, and gets worse when pressure is applied. They may rationalize or seem to consciously have decided irrational things. But it's really that their subconscious can't deal with the reality. I've repeatedly had people shocked over things happening when I was yelling at them over and over warning what was going to happen.
How to help someone with something like massive anxiety when they're in a stressful situation, but need to take steps to deal with things that they don't want to? I don't know if I have a good answer. Maybe preparation. Like trying to set up fail-proof contingencies as much as is humanly possible, for both of them. To give ample space and time to acknowledging how hard it must be for the healthier partner, and asking what you can do for them. I really don't know if I have any good answers. But I sure think I've had some cracks at solving this same puzzle myself.
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Btw… hope you have figured out some solutions and coping mechanisms that work both short and long term? Dealing with high anxiety people is very difficult and it’s hard to know what is “right” in the moment or “good enough”.