Quote:
Originally Posted by you&me
It's funny, because that's the same view I take with having my wife stay home... Between the time she spends with the kids and the less time we otherwise have to spend doing 'housework', it's a way for her (and by extension, all of us) to spend more time together.
It's entirely up to her, but the only reason I would want her to work after all of the kids are in school is if she's bored out of her mind and wants something to do, whether for fulfillment, or simply to occupy her time. But it certainly won't be because I think she's a "parasite"...
To me, the more baffling thing is not wanting to provide that option to the person you love because of some tally of chores you're keeping, like a score.
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I've had a housekeeper for over 11 years. It isn't a joint expense, I personally pay for their services even though both my wife and I get the shared benefit. Both my wife and I work, but given what each of us brings to the relationship in terms of resources -- I bring more income but have a higher time commitment to my job -- my wife fills a much higher proportion of homemaker tasks than I do when the housekeeper isn't around. But having the housekeeper reduces the overall load, so it's worth it. I consider it outsourcing.
There's nothing wrong with maintaining a set division of tasks, both of you just need to agree that the division itself is fair and that the underlying reasons are valid.