[TorqueDog]

This conversation can't be had without:
i) differentiating what a "job" is versus what "work" is; and,
ii) removing any emotional investment from the gendered perception of the role of Homemaker. Men and women can both perform Homemaker duties or be in the role exclusively.


Being a Homemaker is absolutely work, and depending on what falls under the responsibilities of said Homemaker -- are there kids, animals, how much house is there to clean, laundry, groceries, cooking, etc. -- all will determine just how much work it is.

I look at being in a relationship (married, in my case) as being on a team. The team has common goals and needs to pull in the same direction, but different people on a team can fulfill different tasks in service of those goals.

The idea of a Homemaker is really an agreement between the two people on that team about what tasks need to be fulfilled for the good of the team when one of those team members isn't -- or doesn't want to be -- employed.
- The person that is in the Homemaker role will keep the home in order.
- The other person must then take on the Provider role; they will secure the income required to ensure that the needs (and as many wants as feasible) of everyone involved can be met.

This is independent of the personal relationship between the two people.

If the person holding the sole Provider role on the team finds themselves in a situation where they are not able to bring in enough resources to keep things going as they are:
- The team may need to make do with less and the person in the Homemaker role will also need to find ways to keep things going with lesser resources available if they are going to continue in that role full time; or,
- A dedicated Homemaker role may no longer be viable. The person holding the Homemaker role may need to go out and get a job to earn income, no longer exclusively filling the Homemaker role.

However, the tasks of the Homemaker role must still be performed, so both people now need to agree how each will fulfill those duties when both are working, if there is a proportional split based on commitment of time to their employment, incomes, etc. This is where things usually go sideways. There is virtually always one person who does more 'Homemaker' tasks than the other, and if there isn't an agreement on why that is, then conflict arises. The role of Homemaker is often very underappreciated.


All of this is to say that being a Homemaker is not a job in the sense that it isn't employment. It generates no income, there are no taxes to be paid, there's no taxable benefits, you can't claim EI, you can't write off expenses, and no one is going to give you a loan based off of your 'job' as a Homemaker. To address the hilariously on-point Curb Your Enthusiasm clip: If you're in a relationship where only one person works, then while you might colloquially refer to the household finances as "our" money, it is only in the 'team' sense, but not in terms of what you bring to the relationship: you are still an adult dependent where financial support is concerned.