[Frank the Tank]

Last week a former friend passed away in an untimely and unfortunate manner. Myself and two other friends went to the visitation and the funeral, and as usual, ended up at a local pub for some pints one night after visitation.

A quick background for everyone. We moved when I was almost done grade 11, so as far as high school friends go, I have essentially three. (well, two now). Mike, Rob, John and I are all very similar and I guess thats why we clicked. We are all jocks, all come from stable middle-class families, were all decent students and all went on to post-secondary education as well as post-secondary athletics. John lasted one year and flunked out. Badly. Ever since then, his life just went into a downward spiral, to the point where he alienated all of his family and all of his friends. He stole property from all of us and even went as far as to steal one of our identities and cause all sorts of problems for that person.

So after several pints and a lot of silence, we started to get it out. We didn't know how to feel because our former friend, who we knew very well, was gone. But none of us were too sad because he had screwed us all so badly. So we were sad that we weren't sad, if that makes sense at all.

And then Mike asked the question, "how do you want to be remembered?" It kind of hit us all like a ton of bricks. There are conversations over pints, and then there are conversations that make the world stop for a minute.

It was tougher than I thought, but mine was mostly about my son and how (assuming that I kick it when he is older, not the toddler he is now) I want him to remember me as a man of character. A guy that did the right thing, not the easy thing. A guy that stood up and was counted and never sat on the fence but was never perfect. A guy that people could love or could hate, but one thing you had to do was respect him.

So if you could leave a mark or a statement, that people would say at your wake "thats what _______ was all about", what would it be?