Smack her ass and pants her when she wears jogging pants and PJ's. My wife loves that. She also likes it when I tell her to relax or call her crazy when she throws dishes at me for pulling her PJ's down right before dinner. And one more thing: when you lose something around the house and she doesn't know where it is, it's her fault for not being efficient at household inventory. So keep asking where it is.
Yes, this is satire. Don't do any of that.
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