Quote:
Originally Posted by lambeburger
I'm going to add a caveat to that. If there are some small things that bother you, clearly, but respectfully communicate those to your partner. Only works if its a two way street and both people are willing to put in the effort to reduce the habits that bug the other person. There will almost certainly be small, little things that you do and don't think twice about it, but will get under the skin of your partner. If you don't communicate these things early on, you risk the possibility of letting a tiny thing compound into a bigger, more troublesome feeling of resentment.
The last thing you want is to have a big, huge fight about about something silly like, the way the dishwasher gets loaded. You might say things you regret because you didn't communicate early on that large bowls and pans should really be hand washed instead of shoved into the dishwasher all willy nilly. Like who does that, it obstructs the water from getting to the glasses on the top shelf. How can one not notice the food scum on the bottom of the glassware? The dishwasher is always full because things need to be rewashed all the time. The counter is a mess because there is a backlog of things that won't fit. The nice knives loose their sharpness when you pile them up in the sink with the other dishes that also won't fit in the dishwasher, you know I hate dull knives, that's why I cut my finger last week! I'm literally being injured and abused here - why are we living like this?!
So yeah, best to be proactive and avoid something like that.
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Ah, a man of experience I see!
You are correct, like others have said. Communicate, and offer praise and appreciation liberally. Voice your concerns (don't bottle them up and stonewall the other party), but be polite about it and know that you do #### that will piss her off, and she'll do #### that pisses you off no matter how hard you try to avoid those (often minor) things.