Here's the plan.
Go to Candian Tire and buy some moose urine.
Find a container where the lid pulls off easily and pour the urine in. (Do this outside)
Tie some rope to the lid.
Place container inside garbage with rope hanging out.
Surround container with garbage.
Gather up top of bag while compressing garbage.
Pull out rope so that it almost pulls the lid off.
Duct tape garbage bag around the top opening sealing the bag.
Cut off excess rope.
Carry bag by bottom and place at curb.
When somone picks up the bag, they will open the container, spilling the contents inside the bag.
Here are some blueprints.
Or call the cops. Damn ther's nothing on TV!