I’m coming up on two years dry in about a month’s time, I’ve shared before the
why behind this change in the past, but ultimately it made me feel like crap. So for now let’s focus on the techniques & key changes that worked for me.
I’d say in the 1 year period before my last drink I’d fallen into pattern that included moderately drinking for 6-8 weeks, feeling like garbage, going 2-3 weeks without it, before returning to a month or so of moderate drinking. Although I wasn’t necessarily trying to quit at the time, I was habitually giving myself breaks, but ultimately choosing to start again because a lot of it was quite enjoyable.
One night I was out for dinner with my wife during one of my dry periods when I ordered a club soda and my wife said to me “You know what you are? You’re sober curious.”
I’d never heard the term before but damned if it didn’t slam the pieces together for me. There’s a ton books and articles about the
Sober Curious movement, but the basic premise is that you’re not giving up booze, you’re not trying to follow arbitrary rules about about where and when you can drink, but you are actively being selective about it.
In short, it takes away the “all or nothing” mentality and really refocuses your effort on the decisions you are making. In my case it was about giving myself permission not to drink… which as silly as it seems, I needed.
So when I discovered the term, I started researching it, and other sobriety communities, I also came across a few podcast on the topic, in particular I found
Seltzer Squad was key in helping me over that 3 week hump.
Just hearing people around my own age banter back & forth about their alcohol follies, while acknowledging that hangovers really do suck was exactly what I needed. At it’s core alcohol is just one of the millions of consumer products out there, we don’t have to purchase or consume if we don’t want to, we can still have fulfilling lives without it, in the same way you can have a fulfilling life without purchasing celery or turnips.